Just thinking about how complex and sometimes annoying life can be. You think you are ready for a change, but when it comes, because you pushed it, you wonder what to do, because you are suddenly so lost. When something has become so routine, and then is gone. Where do you turn to when all of your life is completely different than it was yesterday. Turn to yesterday, when everything fell into place? Looked like life was fantastic, and had hopes of love, dreams and far away thoughts of success? How do you keep pretending that everything is ok, while the walls of you life are about to touch the ground. Slowly drifting into the solemn depths of your mind, where no one, and nothing can hurt you anymore. When there only exists you, and memories to dwell on because of your mistakes, his, hers, theirs, ours...



Who do you go to, when the only person who knows everything there is to know, now knows nothing. When they have turned away, and forgotten what your face looks like, skin feels like, and kiss tastes like. But the reality is-- they never stopped lying. Why do you love those who hurt you most? Die in their arms if they would let you, even if it is by their own hand. Where do you find the valve to your heart? The one that shuts off all feeling, chases the cold out of its hiding and into your breath, stops your mind from lusting after the lost, and taking your eyes off of his pictures.



When someone hurts you, you don't give in--right? But is love stronger than many broken promises? of constant arguments? of debts beyond repayment? Character flaws that are sure to continue? When is too soon to find a new comfort-- if you still love them, yet cannot stand them? When is the line drawn of too many changes, just to be with someone? Am I wrong to love you, when our lives met in pain, loved in pain, and lost in pain? Promises made of a far off present. Months from now, we thought we had made it. But we had already failed- Don't you see? You. Me. We could never be. Since day 1 things have gone the opposite way. We were supposed to share our lives together, but not being ourselves isn't sharing.



There is more, I guess... But i don't know where else to look... </3